The Blatherings of a Lost Mind
by GrimAlexR
Summary: Mulder has generously donated his private journals to a class of trainees studying the X-Files. Follow their journey as they take an in-depth look into the dark abyss of crazy that is Fox Mulder’s mind through his very secret *cough*diary*cough* journal.


Title: The Blatherings of a Lost Mind (A Collection of Fox Mulder's Private Journals)

Summary: Mulder has generously donated his private journals to a class of trainees studying the X-Files. Follow their journey as they take an in-depth look into the dark abyss of crazy that is Fox Mulder's mind through his very secret *cough*diary*cough* journal. One sided Mulder/OMC . Goes way, way back to Season 1 and may go up to Season 5.

Rating: T

Disclaimer: I do not own the X-Files; if I did it would be well into its twelfth season by now.

A/N: I was on extreme crack when I decided to start writing this, so I am only slightly to blame for this stuff. Read and review and all that good stuff. Constructive criticism is welcomed, but outright flaming warrants death by cyber boulders.

"Mulderology 101"

The class immediately stopped its mumbling as soon as the professor of the class entered the room. She was known for her overzealousness and throwing things (preferably heavy medical dictionaries) at the heads of the students that annoyed her. The class was small, with only twelve people attending, for these were the twelve brave souls that could withstand the teasing of their peers. They were known as "The Spookies", named so because of the person that the class's primary focus was on: Fox "Spooky" Mulder.

The class consisted of Candice Alvarez (who had aggression issues), Eugenia Brady (who everyone was convinced was a man), Bonita Cummings (who was known for her TV psychic mother), Priscilla Durham (who had conspiracy theories even wilder than Mulder's), Eileen Vega (who was pretty much a mystery to everyone), Dana Shannon (who is actually a man with an unfortunate name), Marcelo Duke (who believes that he's the descendent of Martin Luther and acts as such), Shawn Dotson (who may have been a serial killer in a past life), Rodney Saunders (who was known for the simple fact that his index finger almost never left his nose), James Head (whose family was richer than God), Othello Pruitt (who believes that he actually **is **the person he was named after), and finally Gerard Frye (who not so secretly in love with Mulder).

The professor was one Antoinette Mercado. No one was sure of what credentials she possessed or which board member was stoned the day that the FBI decided to hire her, but what everyone was sure of was that she was to be feared. Her border line bi-polar personality was one reason the Spookies were secretly admired. Anyone who was brave, stupid, or crazy enough to go into her classes of their own free will carried some sort of respect with the other trainees. She was somewhere in between thirty and forty perhaps more towards the forty side, no one knew her age for sure. There was actually a rumor circulating that she was a bitter witch that was cursed by God to endure an eternity of suffering on Earth, which, to those who knew her, sounded just about right.

Currently Professor Mercado was storming into the room with the black trench coat that seemed welded to her person billowing in a non-existent wind. The students could've sworn that the temperature in the room dropped about twenty degrees as soon as she entered, but none of them were dissuaded from their goal of sitting through her class. If not completely sane, the Spookies were persistent. Mercado slammed her books down on her desk and the class flinched collectively, but still none of them left. The professor surveyed the class with her face twisted into a scowl and she narrowed her eyes, giving each individual student a death glare.

"So, you're all here, I assume to study the investigating styles and cases of Fox Mulder and Dana Scully." She said more as a statement rather than a question and rather than waiting for an answer she continued on speaking. "All of you who are unsure about your desire to be in this class or your interest in these cases should leave the classroom immediately because after now, you will have no chance to stop attending unless you have a valid excuse. If I am being forced to teach this class, then I am certainly going to have some students to teach." She stopped to pace back and forth in front of the class a few times. "So, being the wonderful teacher I am –"Mercado stopped as soon as she heard the snicker and zeroed in on the person that made the noise. "Ah, Ms. Bonita Cummings, how is your dear mother? Last I heard she was being brought up on charges of perjury for lying under oath." Bonita slid down in her seat, her face a nasty salmon color.

Mercado brushed imaginary specks of dust off of her shirt before continuing. "As I was saying, being the wonderful teacher that I am, I went to Mr. Mulder himself and asked if he had anything that he would like to donate to the class to heighten your learning experience. Do you know what he gave me? His own private journals dating back to the first case that him and Scully did together, he practically tossed them at me, saying that he had no use for them and that he was sure that they would be put to much better use in my class room."

Of course that wasn't how it happened at all, but Mercado wasn't about to tell her students that she had to give Mulder the evilest of her evil eyes to get him to give up the journals and even then he was reluctant. "I've made copies of the very first entry he made in the journals and I expect you all to annotate this excellently because after you've finished we'll be having a discussion about what this journal entry foreshadows about Mulder and Scully's relationship and about what this entry show's about Mulder's personality. This class is two hours, so I'm giving you forty-five minutes to read and makes notes on this, which is more than enough time. The remaining hour and fifteen minutes will be spent discussing the entry and your assignment for tonight." Mercado pause to take a look at her watch "Begin now." She ordered and each student got to work immediately and silently not wanting to incur the wrath of their demented teacher.

__________________*___________________

Entry 1: New Partner. What do I Think of Her?

March 2, 1992

Dear Diary Journal,

I don't even know why I'm using you, well, actually I do. It's because the bureau shrink told me to start keeping a journal. He said it would help me "straighten out" my thoughts. What does he know? He probably hasn't left that office in ten years and judging by the way he smells he hasn't taken a bath in ten years either. I wonder why no one else has noticed that he smells like a decomposing corpse, but of course I can't ask anyone because then they'll just assume I'm imagining it, they assume I'm imagining everything else. But anyway, back to the reason I'm writing in this stupid thing. Some higher ups at the bureau are forcing me to attend forty-five mandatory sessions with the shrink and today, (our third meeting for this year) he gave me this journal. He said I had to write in it because he'd check it the next time we met and would report me to my boss if I didn't do as he said. What is this kindergarten? God I hate that man. There's almost no doubt that he won't like what I've written and will be writing in here, but too bad for him, he's the one who wanted to read it. So I guess I should talk about the other significant events that happened today instead of just railing on about how much I hate my shrink. Today I met my new partner, her name's Dana Scully. She's a medical doctor and a brilliant one from what I've heard and read about her work. I know she was sent by the higher ups to spy on me and debunk my work, but so far her presence has been rather … enjoyable. It's sort of odd that I like her because she's more practical that any agent I've ever met and she seems to thrive on the idea that science is the answer to everything. I'm sure she's got not one creative bone in her body, which again, is why I'm surprised that I don't mind being around her. But, she's quite a looker (this probably factors into the reason she's not bothering me yet), although I do prefer brunettes (Scully's a red-head). We're set to go to Oregon tomorrow to investigate the death of girl there. I think that there's something other worldly going on, but my overly-practical partner thinks that the answers are right in front of us. I'll be writing soon about how my first day out of the basement and in the field for the past year was.

-Mulder

___________________*____________________

Exactly forty-five minutes later, Mercado called time and told the students to begin the discussion, as she was planning to participate only passively. It took some glaring to get the students to begin, but they got started. Priscilla Durham suggested that the entry had foreshadowed the difficulties to some in Mulder and Scully's relationship and Shawn Dotson had countered that saying that her argument wasn't valid because no relationship was without its share of difficulties and what she said could be assumed without reading the entry. So the rest of the class went by, the students becoming completely immersed in their arguing and completely forgetting that Mercado was watching them all with a critical eye. She was impressed, though she'd never actually say it out loud. Usually during the discussion the students looked to her for proof that their argument was valid, but this class sustained the discussion themselves with usually relevant evidence.

When she called time at ten minutes before the class was set to end, the students groaned, but it just took a quick look from Mercado to get them quiet. "Your assignment tonight is to read the second entry, which I have copies of on my desk there. You will annotate them because I will be checking and God help you if you don't do the work. We will be having another, shorter discussion on your reading next week and we will start on the third entry in class. When we conclude the entries on Mulder's first case partnered with Scully, I will expect you all to turn in an essay no less than three pages about Mulder's unconventional investigating style versus Scully's strictly conventional investigating style and the beginnings of his and Scully's relationship. I'll give you a sheet on the assignment later, but you're forewarned of the project." She gave them all a severe look. "You're dismissed." The students gathered their things and rushed out of the class room, spilling into the hallway some deep in discussions of their first class with Mercado and their reading for tonight, some of them already hoping for next week's class while others (Bonita Cummings) plotted on how to get the teacher fired.

A/N: Reviews are loved and if anyone was wondering why I didn't use the original air date of the episode as the date for the journal entry, it was because in the pilot episode when Scully and Mulder get to Oregon there is a little caption on the screen that says "Costal Northwest Oregon, March 3, 1992" I just set the journal entry to the previous day so Mulder would've written the entry the night before.


End file.
